Monday was the first day at my studio in twelve years where Megan was not there.  Of course, while she worked for me she took vacations and sick days, but Monday was different.  She is not on vacation or out sick.  She is not here and will not be here as the studio manager and my right hand ever again.

I am feeling a little emotional about this.  Of course I am so excited for Megan as she starts her new endeavor working full time for the candle company that she and another friend (and former employee) started.  I am happy that her company Mame Soy Candles is successful.  I am excited to see how successful Mame will once she can give it her full attention.  But, transitions are hard – especially after twelve years.

Megan started working with me when my oldest was in kindergarten and my youngest was still in preschool and was still in diapers.  Now both my sons are in high school and my oldest will be graduating in two months (that is another transition that will be bittersweet but I will save that for another post).  She was with me when I moved into my first studio space (that was three locations ago).  She was with me when my sister and I parted ways (both professionally and personally – sad but necessary).  She was with me when the economy went into the toilet and I didn’t know if I would be able to stay in business.  She was with me through the yearlong illness and death of my mother (and basically kept my business running allowing me to focus on helping my parents and saying goodbye).  She was with me when I turned 40 and commemorated it beautifully.  She was with me when my last studio flooded and I decided to buy the building for my new (and current) studio.  She was with me to help me decorate the new studio and watch as I constantly change things up.  She was with me to help me create all three of my books.

Megan was more than an employee.  She was my friend with whom I talked about life and events and tv shows and books and friends and family and everything almost every day for the last twelve years.  Now she will be my friend who will occasionally do design work for me and who I will see sometimes for a glass of wine or coffee and cheer for her success as her own boss and business owner.  I will/do miss her and I am sure that my clients will as well.  Cheers to transitions and new adventures and friendship!  Cheers to Megan! If you see her, please wish her good luck and congratulations.  Mame soy candles can be found locally at Urbana, LGO, Frances and also online at mame soy candles.

My oldest, Nick and me (with John Henry on his way), by John Blom (my dad)

My little guy, John Henry and me, by Joyce Wilson

Both my little guys, by me

This past weekend I had a very special and emotional experience, and it made me realize how very quickly our lives go.  My little guys, who just yesterday were so small and needed me so much, will be gone off to start their own lives in just a couple of years.  We get one chance in our lives to be the people we should be, to be the friends, parents, humans we can be, to stop and listen to another’s fears, concerns, joys.  We have the choice to connect and care or to move through our days mindless of others.  

The following poem was a favorite of my mother.  I woke up yesterday morning hearing her reciting it and thought I would share.

There are a thousand futures
locked entwined
in futures you can claim
you pass and touch
a life
and leave a past where you will always be
you cross a million paths
and many times
you leave a moment clear
a crystal
hung in chandeliers
of times soft tinkling memories
you touch and change
pass and move
a dozen dozen lives with yours
And you
in turn
are touched
and moved
and passed and changed a thousand times.

You are a single thread
in woven cloth of life
you leave a trail
of broken threads
and patterns changed
of beauty born and lost again.

Author unknown